


Fuckin' Smartass

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a True Story, Brothers Are Pains, Choward's Violet Mints, Gen, Hacker!Gabriel, Human AU, Package Receiving, Sibling Love, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 01:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14438856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: Michael receives a package from Gabriel. His brother is a smartass.





	Fuckin' Smartass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TalkMagically](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkMagically/gifts).



> So this is for @talkmagically who essentially did this to me. Except instead of violet mints, potato chips, and a watch it was Kit Kats, puppy chow (or "Muddy Buddies" as Chex Mix calls them) and a bracelet. I also got post cards. So this is in thanks for sending me things! 
> 
> Never say "an unhealthy amount" of something to her. xD

Michael grunted as he leaned over and picked up a fairly good sized box addressed to him. The postmark was from his younger brother Gabriel. He sighed. This must be the watch Gabriel had picked up for him. Why it was in such a large box was beyond Michael. And why was it so heavy? Michael could lift weights with this box. 

He pulled his phone out of his pajama bottoms and sent a text to Gabriel.  **[Your package has arrived. Why is it so heavy?]**

He set it on the end table near the couch and went to go hunt down a pocket knife upon which to open the box. 

_ Ping. _

He unlocked his phone and looked at the mocking message from his brother. 

**[A word to the wise, Mikey. I’m a smart ass. I like being a smart ass. And I’ve got a lot of sass in this ass.]**

Michael sighed. 

**[What did you put in here? I thought you were just sending me a watch.]**

He located his pocket knife, a black tactical knife that he had bought off of Amazon, and went back over the package. 

_ Ping. _

**[You’ll find out, Mikey.]**

Great. For all he knew, his computer hacker of a brother put a pound of Semtex in this box and it’s rigged to explode the moment he tried to open it. Heaving a sigh, Michael flipped open his knife and gently started removing the tape from the box. 

Once he was able to open it, he reached in and pulled out. . . A Choward’s Violet mint? 

It was Michael’s favorite candy. To the exclusion above all else. Gabriel hated them, even though he loved almost all candy. Lucifer, the middle brother, called it the floral cousin of licorice, his own favorite. 

So while he was thankful for the violet, he wasn’t sure why Gabriel put it in. Oh well. 

He reached back in, and grabbed a fistful of. . . more violets? 

“Gabriel,” he sighed. “How many violets are in here?” 

He’ll find out, he supposed. And so he pressed onward.  

After about four more handfuls of violets, he found a bag of. . . his favorite potato chips. Ruffles loaded baked potato. Michael was now confused, but grateful. He loved these potato chips, and they were a bit hard to find. So were the violets. 

Gabriel must’ve bought them. At least, he hoped that Gabriel bought them. He probably did. Michael mentally revised that to  _ legally _ buying the candy and the chips. 

“Onward, I suppose,” he sighed as he reached into the box and pulled out yet another fistful of violet mints. 

It took another couple more handfuls before his fingers clenched around the box containing the watch. Michael pulled it out. Spying an obnoxiously hot pink colored piece of paper, he pulled that out as well to read it, assuming it was a note from Gabriel. 

_ Mikey-  _

_ Here’s the watch I got for you. Enjoy your ‘packing peanuts’! _

_ -Gabriel _

“Oh God,” Michael groaned, rubbing his hand over his face, knowing now why the entire box most likely had an unholy amount of violets. 

Earlier that week, Gabriel had mentioned that the box was too big for JUST the watch and had asked for suggestions. Michael had jokingly suggested using candy as packing peanuts. Gabriel knew what Michael’s favorite candy was. And of course, Gabriel doesn’t do anything half assed. And he probably knew the best and cheapest place online to buy violet mints. 

“I’m going to turn into violet mints at this rate,” Michael moaned, peering into the box and seeing an endless amount of violet mints. 

He picked up his phone and snapped a picture of everything before sending it to Gabriel with the caption:  **[Must you take everything so fucking literally? I’m going to be shitting violet mints.]**

He opened the box of the watch, smiling at the wide black banded and simple white face of the clock, analog in nature and with Roman numerals. This was  _ definitely  _ his watch. Gabriel knew his style. He slipped it onto his left wrist, cinching it tight. He found a dish to put his candy in and began to put them in there, popping one in his mouth.  _ So good.  _

_ Ping. _

**[Maybe it’ll dislodge the stick in your ass, Mikey <3 You love me and you know it. I buy you that disgusting soap candy.]**

He chuckled as he texted his reply. 

**[And I appreciate it, along with the potato chips and the watch. Thank you, Gabriel.]**

_ Ping.  _

**[Any day I can get you to swear is a good day. :D Enjoy!]**

Michael sighed at his brother’s antics and put the bowl of candy on his desk. Today was his day off, and he was determined to enjoy it. He pulled up Netflix on his smart TV and scrolled over to Criminal Minds, pressing play and tugging the potato chips closer to him. 

Even he was allowed to have a day of sitting in sweatpants and eating junk food that was provided by his little brother. 

Although he was going to have to think of a way for him to get back at Gabriel for being a literal smartass. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr! @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell
> 
> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


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